Imposing title I suppose, but I have been wondering on this subject for a long time. My grandparents died in 2002, a month apart, and I was only last year that I realized I never really dealt with any of it. Too much was going on. Pop-pop passed, we buried him, Mom-mom went to the hospital, she passed, we buried her. It was like a dream. But that's not what I'm wondering about.
I know you've seen it. We've all seen it. The cars on the road with the "In Memory" decals on the rear window.
I think about these people every time I see one. And I wonder...does it help with the healing process or does it keep the person alive for the survivor and stop them from moving on?
I've never actually spoken to someone that has one of these decals...at least not that I'm aware of.
I have keepsakes from my grandparents. I have my Grandfather's Navy ring on a chain and I wear it when I'm missing him. I have a stuffed bird that I hug when I'm missing my Grandmother. But, I can't imagine seeing their names every single time I look in my rear view mirror. For me, that sounds like an unbelievably painful process. To be reminded every single time I'm driving, multiple times in fact, that the person I loved is gone. And what about when it's time to get rid of the car? Does the pain of the loss become more intense because of the loss of the decal? Can the decal be transferred to another vehicle? I suppose that the small ones can, but not the full windshield wraps. Does the person then suffer the loss all over again?
I ask these questions, because I honestly don't know the answers. And I'm very interested in finding out the answers.
I have lost all my grandparents, my mother in law, but the hardest loss was that of my husband of nearly 13 years! I don't think a bumper sticker or those "memorials" on your car make it easier.....reading that every day would only upset me more! Sure, we know they are gone, and one day we will be reunited, but a daily reminder of our loved ones being gone just doesn't sit well with me!
ReplyDeleteI have pictures of my grandparents, mom in law and late husband where my kids can see the, as well as myself! I have a fiance that is really awesome and the idea of the picture of my late husband being present in our home is not a problem for him! My kids are grown now, but they were only 11 & 10 at the time of their father's very unexpected passing! There are grandsons now that will grow up knowing of their late grandfather! It's important to my kids, and to me!!
I have my grandmother's gold cross necklace, and treasure it!! My grandfather gave it to me the day of her memorial! Granddad lived another 3 years, and we were able to spend about 6 months with him when my late husband was stationed in Korea for a year. That was a time we will never forget!! My photos, memories, treasures, etc., are all that I need....nothing stuck to my car....just stored in my heart!!!!